You know the feeling of when you just want to just be lazy and do not care how you look like to others? Well, I do not mean in a sarcastic way. What I mean is there is a certain time in your life that you decide to not be "pretty" and let yourself be a bum...?... (I seriously can't think of a word to describe it now) but anywho! I have never thought that I would fall into that path because I do not see myself as one. However, these passed three months...or five, I have found myself turning into a bum.
I will be honest, I did not know that I am one at first. Everything happens so naturally and calmly, like one small step after another, and that has slowly led me to being a certified lazy bum.
I don't know how it had started but I know that one day I was late for work and put on any clothes within my reach. I did not even check the mirror before leaving the house! That pretty much tells you I did not put makeup on either. After six hours of tutoring plus an hour drive, I came back and stood in front of the mirror for the first time that day. I was having an astonished shock as I looked at myself: panda eyes, dried lips, uneven toned skin, fizzy hair, and I am in my pajamas. I couldn't believe I was going to work in such sluggish present. And I told myself that was the LAST time.... and it is still happening, or even worse.
It was going in this order:
- No contact: "I'll probably take naps between sessions; having contact lens on will be a problem."
- No eye shadow: "It will be distracting, it won't be a problem to not have it on"
- No eyeliner: "I keep rubbing it off due to sleepiness or eye irritation caused by strong wind."
- No foundation: "Fuck! I'm late!!!!!!!"
- Undone hair: "Shit! I'm so fucking late!!!!"
- Random outfit, and then it has been jeans and T-shirts for convenience purpose: "I'm so sleepy *yawn*"
So as you see, at the end of the line, I have successfully turned myself into a little bum without realizing it.
I will say though, it is not wrong to feel comfy but in my case, I was a bit TOO comfy...and that was the result. After realizing this, I have also notice, not just the way I present myself, even my daily life is being affected by this as well.
I have started to procrastinate, slack off, and not being productive. I kept on delaying and making excuses when I do not finish a project. I blamed it on slack of sleep and tiredness. Even my boyfriend started to remind me that I'm being TOO comfy lately, of course I ignored him with a thought "guys only care about look". No offense but that is the pride me talking lol.
Therefore, after taking a second look at myself today in the mirror, I have come to a realization, I need to stop this. This will be hard but I have to go through it. The first step in this change is:...starting now!
That should be the mind set I am on: do it NOW, NOT later!
Fin!
